Beledigd

Beledigd

Ontbrekende emotie in de Emotie encyclopedie

De energie van beledigd kropt zich op bovenin je borstkas en keel en trekt zich tegelijk terug en omhoog.

WAT WIL HET JE VERTELLEN?
Je beledigd voelen is een emotie uit emotiegroep Schuld en Schaamte, waarin de nadruk ligt op de referentiekaders waaraan jij jezelf en je handelen meet ten opzichte van de buitenwereld. De goed- en foutideeën over jezelf en jouw buitenwereld. Wanneer je je beledigd voelt, of gepasseerd, heeft iemand in die buitenwereld jou het tegendeel bewezen van wat jij over jezelf had gedacht en dat doet pijn. Ego-pijn, dat wel. Wij mensen meten onze identiteit aan ideeën over wie, wat, waar, hoe en wanneer wij 'goed' zijn. Als dan iemand in zijn woorden of gedrag jou erop wijst dat je juist daar waar jij ervan overtuigd was dat je 'goed' was, je laat merken dat je daar juist 'onderpresteerd' of niet zo goed bent als jij dacht. Oef. Beledigd.

Uiteraard is dit de perceptie van die andere persoon en hoef je het je niet aan te trekken. Maar dat doe je wel, want je voelt je beledigd of gepasseerd en daarom verteld deze emotie jou:

 Jezelf beledigd voelen vertelt je dat je je identiteit ontleent aan
het beeld dat de ander zojuist heeft lek geprikt en vraagt jou dit
te onderzoeken, te erkennen en te accepteren.

Dit zijn de momenten die jou helpen bewust te worden dat je op dit specifieke thema nog afhankelijk bent van successen of falen over wat je 'doet of niet-doet' en niet over wie je 'bent of niet-bent'. Het is gezonder voor ons geluk en emotionele onafhankelijkheid als we onze zekerheid niet ontlenen aan 'doen', maar aan 'zijn'.

WAT VRAAG DIT VAN JOU?
Als je je beledigd voelt hebben we een nogal sterke en pijnlijke angel te pakken in jouw ideeën over wie je zou moeten zijn.... zou moeten zijn. Maar wat niet is, is niet. En als het anders is, is het misschien wel passender bij wie jij bent en daarom beter.. Voor jou. Het is niet gemakkelijk om naar binnen te kijken bij sterke en pijnlijke emoties als deze. Toch zal naar binnen kijken jou helpen jezelf te bevrijden van ideeën over wie je zou moeten zijn die jou juist onrust geven.

Onderzoek op welk thema de belediging het pijnlijkst is en hoe je in dat thema staat. Keur je jezelf daar ook regelmatig in af? Of gebruik je dit thema juist te veel om jezelf te profileren? Hoe het ook zij, uiteindelijk wil er een stukje acceptatie van jezelf ontstaan op dit thema. Het is altijd de bedoeling dat wij ons denken en handelen als een verlengde maken van wie wij zijn. Dat wil zeggen dat het belangrijk is te ontdekken op welke manier en in welke vorm dit thema wel zou passen bij jou en je daarmee minder energie zou kosten dan het nu kost. Want iets of iemand moeten zijn die je niet bent kost tonnen energie. Bovendien speel je een rol het best als jezelf. De persoon die jou beledigde is een boodschapper geweest om dit aan jou duidelijk te maken.

CATEGORIE:
Schaamte/Schuld

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  60. Wat een waardevolle toevoeging aan de emotie encyclopedie. Voor mij een heel herkenbare emotie en ook de deur tot verdieping hoe ik mijzelf ontkracht(te). Het raakt nu een thema wat ik al ken – zelfafwijzing en zelfafkeuring – met het verschil dat ik nu helder het patroon zie waar ik in vast zat, maar ook mijn omgangsstrategie. Ik voel dit nu duidelijk(er). Dit helpt mij te erkennen en accepteren. Vera bedankt

  61. hallo allemaal
    mn familie zijn van de lange tenen,om alles beledigd ,en moeilijk in de omgang.
    ik heb mn helle leven in alles verdiept ,gelezen, trainingen, gedaan cursus,door mn inzichten en ervaringen , kan ik nu anderen mensen helpen .mn familie niet .te grote ego ……..
    ze durven niets te zeggen , bang voor ruzie ,meestal staat de boel al in de vik ,laat de boel maar een x ontploffen .dat heb ik gedaan ,

    ik weet wie mn echte vrienden zijn nu ,de rest heb ik achter me gelaten ,zo fijn .
    vriendelijke groeten

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